between reality and dreams ..

i had a plan. but i wasn’t sure if i should go through with it.

the textbook Christian answer was to pray.
and pray i did.

the textbook Christian reply to prayers are: Yes, No, Wait.
there was no Yes.
there was no No.
so waited, i did.

they say waiting means He’s preparing you for the answer.
i was prepared for the answer. but yet there’s this stubborness in me that still wants to go ahead with my plan.

and it’s tearing me apart.

patience Marianne, patience.

He gave you the whole day with your sister.
and there’s a high chance that you’ll get more than a month with the others.

it’s times like this, i wish i was like the rich girls in MTV’s Rich Girls show. damn.

the doctors are back for a few days, and then it’s off to malaysia for them. sigh

i tagged along with them for their CG and then for laser quest after that.

you know how sometimes you want to be different from someone, and yet at the end of the day, you find that you’re so similiar? no?
well anyway, i grew up wanting to be different from my siblings. i couldn’t tahan when anyone said i was like them. i tried so hard to be different.
but today, while listening to my sister pray, i realised that there are so many things i do that are just the way she does it. and there’s no running away from it. i just have to face it that we are the same in some ways. but no, i still don’t think we look alike. (of all things not to be alike, why do i have to be the lazy one? and the stupid one? sigh)

after laser quest, we got our game stats.
and for some reason, i started comparing my sister’s and mine.
and that’s what i’ve always been doing growing up. comparing myself to her, and not measuring up.
and now, i find myself being pressured to get a ‘partner’ that will be as good as hers. or better! …
oh, the unnecessary pressure i put on myself!

you know what scares me?
i am afraid that i do that to my younger sister unintentionally.
raising (or setting) the bar each time, that it gets almost impossible to reach it.
(of course, most of the time, i knock the bar over instead, and then put it lower.. )

the four of us. so different, yet so alike as well.

i was taking my usual Sunday afternoon nap, when i heard the sound of keys opening the main door.

it gave me a fright because i knew i’m supposed to be home alone. the doctors weren’t coming home till next weekend. so who could it be?

and then they all walked in. Mummy, papa, and dianne.
i was stunned. shocked. lost for words.

“What are you all doing here?”

mummy came to the bed, disgusted at all the stuff lying on the bed, and came and hugged me telling me they knew how miserable i was.

it was such a good feeling, having them home.

but too bad, it was just a dream.
but in a good way, it was nice.

here’s my attempt of creating melbourne in malaysia for my sister:

1. vietnamese beef noodles
went to the curve. the best vietnamese beef noodles i’ve tried in malaysia (besides the one cooked by my neighbour).
portions were as big as the ones in melbourne. they even had chilli oil, but not like the ones in melbourne.

2. juice
had our usual juices at juiceworks. as good as boost.
filled up our fourth card. which means we’ve bought at least 40 cups of juice since the start of this year. shocking eh?

3. corn chips, salsa sauce and cheese
went to tesco. bought ingredients for homemade nachos. just like how joanne taught me how.

4. watching dvd
gilagathering. an attempt to show my sister what i did last year in melbourne. 2 good friends, movie (sometimes good, sometimes crap) and sometimes falling asleep. hoho

the only thing that makes it less perfect is no supre.
if not, i’d think my sister wouldn’t mind not going to melbourne anymore.
everything she liked from melbourne can finally be found in malaysia.

oh that, and broadband. (1 week more and i can laugh at her slow connection. hah)