between reality and dreams ..

i cannot believe i can still remember the words to The Moffatt’s “Miss You Like Crazy” ..

was listening to Hitz.fm online, and that song played. and i can sing word for word.

so how come i can’t remember what i studied yesterday?

selective memory. a curse? or a blessing?

the verdict for Schapelle Corby’s case (case timeline here) is out.

my heart goes out to her and her family.

whether she truly is guilty, or innocent, i don’t know (i’m leaning more towards innocent). but i know she did not have a fair trial.
evidence was not treated properly, and they didn’t heed her request to fingerprint the bag. the testimony of the custom’s officer was not consistent. and even though they (schapelle and mates) insisted they (customs) weigh their bags to see if there’s any difference from the weight measured in brisbane, nobody listened.

she’s one tough lady. i would probably have given up long ago.

i guess the 1 thing that we should all learn is to lock our bags when travelling.

God give her and her family & friends strength and peace. and that justice will prevail, and that the result of the appeal be free of corruption.

in the past months, i’ve had a fascination with words.

i like how words are used to form sentences that can have different meanings, depending on the way you read them.

i like how some words sound the same, and yet have so different meanings.

and i like how words can just simply make your day, and yet also just tear you apart.

all this fascination hasn’t done much for me. i’m still always lost for words.
and that frustrates me.

i wish to tell so much more, but i cant seem to piece words together to say what i mean. and then people end up misunderstanding me.

on a totally unrelated matter, i rearranged my room.
something i learnt from my mum. she used to rearrange the furniture to find the perfect setting.
and it scares me, that i’m becoming more and more like my mother. not that there’s anything wrong with my mum.

i struggle to find the balance with too much and too little ..

some people complain i am too reserved, and antisocial. and that i don’t tell anything about myself.

so i tried to open up.
and then i started blabbing more than i should.

and then i realise, they know more than they would like to.
and the relationship just isn’t the same anymore.

and i know that’s how i am too. when i know more than i should, it alters the way i see that person.
don’t you wish there’s a delete button in life? and a recycle bin.

or that u can hack another person’s memory, and delete the stuff u wish u didn’t say.

it’s even worse that i exagerated, and created stories to get them off my back on certain things.

so what should i do now?
it’s too late to take back my words ..
and it’s too tiring to continue pretending ..